Tempted

I went to the movies today.  It's been a while since I've gone to the actual theater, and part of me wanted the old "experience" of it.  It wasn't just about seeing the movie, it also used to be about "having fun" and that almost always involved food to me.

I had prepared a little bit by bringing my water bottle and a portion of almonds, but they were gone before the previews were done, haha.  I didn't plan for time nearly as well, because by the time the movie was finished I was genuinely hungry and that always, always leads to cravings.

It didn't help that I had to run into the grocery store to pick up some Italian bread for non-plan eaters.  Everywhere I looked I was tempted, and my thoughts started to race in a familiar and negative way.  I could eat that I want to eat that no one would have to know it's only one meal I deserve it.

All these thoughts were spinning around in my head so fast that there was hardly "room" for the calmer, quieter ones to get in, and they seemed so much less compelling.

But I thought about what I wrote yesterday, how going off plan is a choice.  It's not inevitable, it's 100% avoidable.  I thought about cracking literally the day after I talked about feeling like I had made some positive gains towards a healthier, happier, stronger me.

I got the bread and got the heck out.  At home, I ate half a cup of grapes right away just to get the "argh eat everything in sight" feeling knocked down a couple pegs.  The romaine was looking iffy so I made a very unsalad salad without any lettuce but a bunch of other whole veggies to take its place- a tomato, a green pepper, a cucumber, etc.

As I ate, I could feel the food "excitement" and anxiety slip away.  I was no longer hungry so food  was no longer dominating how I felt and what I thought about.

Now I'm just so glad I didn't fall off.  There are so many triggers for me and sometimes I'm hanging on by a thread, but you know... that's enough.

Just going to keep doing the best I can, and that's got to be enough.

Exercise: Sculpt 3/4 (resistance training; 40 minutes)
Eating: 1,198 calories; 5 quarts water