Sunday

It's a day of reflection for a lot of people.  It's the very end of the week, where one thinks about how they did while starting to prepare a little bit for what's coming.  It's a day when many go to their chosen place of worship too, and take spiritual stock of things.

And out in bloggyland, it's often the weigh-in day.

This morning the scale read 185.5.  I think I had retained just a little bit of water last week and got rid of it this one.  I also think that because the constant sweets cravings and super down moods have dissipated for the most part.

Today... makes it 30 lbs exactly since I've started this process.  It's... strange, more then anything.  I feel like I should write that I'm proud or happy, and of course I feel some of both of those things, but mostly it feels strange.  It makes me wonder if I have always been able to do this, like the willpower was hiding in a box inside me... or if I have truly changed and just now discovered it.

I think it's probably a little of both, though.  I could have been strong enough, but I didn't think so or allow myself to realize it.  And then some of the stuff that's happened in the past year forced me to realize it- that in our darkest and most difficult moments, when it really comes down to it, we have a choice to sink or swim.

I let myself "sink" gradually for years.  But now, finally, I am fighting to swim instead.

P90 went well this morning.  It was Hot P90, which is not a class but just the state of my living room, so I worked up a good sweat.  There are a couple push-up sections and in the very first one, I tried to do them "regular" style instead of on my knees.  I did 5 at a time for a total of 20, and they were wobbly like a newborn deer or something, but the only way to "make them pretty" as Tony says is to <insert blog title here>.

Last night I spent roughly two hours reading Insanity reviews, to the point that I was then dreaming about doing it.  I'm scared and excited about starting it next month.  It's going to kick my butt, but I'm going to work at it.  I've considered ending P90 a little early because new stuff is cool and exciting, but I'm not going to because I feel like it's important to me to say I committed to something and completed it.

With that said, though P90 would technically end on October 7th because I started on July 7th, since my rest day is the 6th it seems a bit ridiculous to take a rest day and then do one more workout before ending it.  So right now the plan is to wrap P90 up on Wednesday, October 5th, then take my rest day, and start Insanity on the 7th.  I'm going to put it in Google Calendar, and then it's as good as set in stone. : )

Next week is the start of the Christmas Dress Countdown Challenge, and I'm really excited about it!  I've been preparing for everything I'll need (pick a dress, a book, etc.), but I think I'm also going to use it as a good jumping off point for more accountability here.  I'd like to take photos of the scale and maybe post my food log.  We'll see.  I like to overthink things before I do them, it's how I roll.

So yes, a long and meandering Sunday post.  Looking back, and looking forward too.  I feel pretty good right now.  Hope others had a wonderful week, and will have an even better one coming up!

Edited to add today's food and exercise:
Exercise: Sculpt 3/4 (resistance training; 40 minutes)
Eating: 1,137 calories; 4.5 quarts water