CDCC Update

Had some unexpected out-of-town guests (not that they just showed up, but they'd originally planned to stay at a hotel), and that made things hectic.  I apologize, I mean it, and now onto the update.

 

This week, I'm down half of a lb.  It's not a big loss, but I'm still pretty happy with it because it's in the right direction.

Here's the thing.  This week I had guests, and last night I went to a big party.  Between both of these things, I've indulged in non-healthy food.  But "indulged" itself is such an indicative word, that by its nature means out of the norm and occasional.

I used to "indulge" every day, every meal.  This week, perhaps I had some big dinners, but I also had healthy breakfasts and lunches.  I also ran 3 miles several times, and drank lots of water.

What is a habit?  It's something we do; that's all.  I used to have a lot of terrible food-related habits.  For a while, I had really great habits.  Either way, the past is the past.  What am I going to do today?  Am I going to keep "indulging", or am I going to get back to "normal", as I want it to be?

Which is exercising, which is eating well, hydrating, not turning to food as comfort, and only occasionally eating special foods for special reasons.  Not even in moderation, necessarily, because I still don't know that I can handle that, but as a part of celebrations.  

Last night, I wore a sparkly dress and heels and make-up.  And then I laid them away, because that's not who I am everyday.  I want that to be true for the food, as well.  I'm going to keep working on that.

I meant to write last week about an article I read.  I have something half-finished in Drafts, but I'll just roll it into here now.  It was about our bellies, and showing photos of "normal" people's stomachs.  Some were toned and some were big, some were smooth and some were scarred.  It really made me think about my perception of what I "should" look like as a goal.

The last time I weighed this much, I was probably in my late teens.  My body's not the same, though- I'm older now, and I placed the stress of obesity on myself for a long time.  When I look in the mirror, sometimes I get pretty wistful about wishing things were tighter, smoother, etc. 

But it is what it is.  And we are who we are.  That article reminded me that "normal" people aren't perfect.  It doesn't mean we shouldn't strive to be healthy, because caring about ourselves mentally, physically, and emotionally is incredibly important.  But it does mean... to me, it means we should accept that we bear the scars of our misses even as we strive to succeed. 

 

There's my belly.  It's probably the part of my body I'm most self-conscious about, so why I'm posting it on the internet is completely baffling in a way.  But I think my point is... this is a journey.  This is my journey to be a healthier, happier person.  It's about losing weight and gaining self-image, and it's also about changing how I think and feel.

It's about being proud of what I've accomplished while still trying to accomplish more; accepting who I am while still trying to be a stronger and healthier version of myself.

Let's keep fighting.  It's not "all or nothing", it's choices every day.  It's picking ourselves up when we fall and getting on with it.  It's doing it; good, bad, or indifferent.

I've had good, bad, and indifferent by this point.  But I'm still trying.  I'm not giving up, though I've been offline more than on lately.  

We can do this, ladies.  I hope it's not weird to say that I'm so proud of all of us.  Now let's keep doing it, and keep trying!