Lucky

I was feeling pretty sorry for myself today.  That isn't how I would have described it, exactly- I would have said things were kind of "hard", that I struggled a bit working out, mentally and physically.  But then I read this post about attitude affecting our day, and I realized... I don't have to give in to feeling bad, sad, or tired.

I talk about this journey in terms of a fight sometimes- it's not a gentle, easy thing; it's sweaty, it's tiring, etc.  I've talked about it in regards to eating right instead of crappy, exercising instead of not, but today I'm also realizing it's about embracing this instead of fighting it.

I am lucky to be able to work out when many people, including my own mom have illnesses or conditions that make it difficult or impossible.  I am lucky to be able to eat right, when many people right now struggle to pay for their groceries, and the cheapest stuff is often the unhealthiest stuff.

I am lucky to be here.  No one is "making" me go on this journey- it's my choice, and I should feel incredibly empowered by it, not reluctantly dragging my heels on days like today.

The day will be like I am, how I approach it.

Tonight we're having some dinner guests.  They'll be eating some nice stuff while I stick to my usual.  This morning I felt sad about it, but right now I feel proud of myself.  Every time one of us on this journey chooses the food we feel we need instead of want, we are being rock stars, whether anyone else ever acknowledges that or not.

Irene has been dropping rain intermittently all day, from light, quiet sprinkles to something that's seriously like you're in the shower.  This might mean I can't do C25K, because I do it outside and don't have a gym membership or treadmill.  This morning, I thought about how that made me unhappy, and how I could do another cardio session in its stead, but I could just take it as a break, too.

But this isn't about "getting away" with something, because I'm neither the angel or the devil on my shoulders.  I'm just someone that wants to try and do the best I can, to make good choices, and now... to have a good attitude about it, too.

If I can't do C25K tonight, I will do another cardio session.  I will not give up, either in the big picture (flat-out quitting) or in tiny, subtle degrees (a work-out here, a snack there, etc.).

"The results you achieve will be in direct proportion to the effort you've applied."  Mental and physical.  I cannot be who I want to be if I am who I am.  

Don't give up.  Never give up.  Keep trying!