Christmas Dress Countdown Challenge - Update 8

I feel like I blinked and this week just disappeared. 

Weigh-in today: 161

I've been sick for the last few days again, which confuses as well as annoys me.  Previously, I would describe myself as someone who almost never got sick.  I'm more fit than I have been in years now, but constantly sniffling or sneezing or something lately.

Anyway, my eating has been probably 90% on plan.  Maybe not enough some days, but I don't have much of an appetite.  At the start of the week, my workouts were amazing, but I'm on a forced pause.  I tried to go jogging anyway and this wet, hacking cough (sorry, those are words that should never go together) made it so miserable I stopped, and am waiting until it goes away now.

Here's what I need to say.  I'm bothered that the tone of this post, that this week, is off again.  It's not what I wanted to write, at all.  But it's frustrating, too.  I feel like being consistent is incredibly difficult when nothing in my life feels consistent right now.

Lately, I work, I cough up phlegm, I don't want to eat anything, and I sleep.  I want blogging and exercise to be in there a lot more.  I want eating well to be in there.  I would like to be healthy and calm again, and right now I am neither.

Sigh.  But life is always what we make of it, I know that.  Enough of this pity party.  Everyone is busy, but we make time for what we need to.  I have a fancy event in three weeks, and a 5k in five.  No matter what's going on, I need to find my focus for these things. 

Maybe thinking about how worn out and rundown I feel is actually making me worn out and rundown.  I need to think about how strong I feel, how capable, about succeeding.

When I was still quite out of shape, I started working out "like a fit person".  I modified things, but I still did them to the best of my ability at the time. 

I need to eat like a healthy person- to eat enough, to eat healthily, to help my body fight off whatever keeps bothering it. 

And most of all, I need to think and do like a healthy person- that I can make the schedule work, that I have the energy, that I'll take the time to blog and reflect for myself, etc.

Another week down.  They slip through our fingers... but I don't want life to happen to me, to be this thing I feel like I'm constantly trying to catch up to.  I want it to be what I make of it, what I shape it to be, to be who I am striving to be.

Sick, or not sick.  This journey is one day at a time.

More tomorrow.  Keep trying.